The story of our relationship and his betrayal did not end there. While I did kick him out of my house we continued to have a relationship and try to make things work. We had good times and bad times, but the fact that I held deep resentment and mistrust for him always permeated every interaction. The fighting was pervasive, and my codependent behaviors consumed me. We went through a cycle of me hating him and wanting nothing to do with him, and him wanting to end things and me begging him to give us a chance. The problems with his drinking never ended. He continued to message, search and flirt with girls. He repeatedly disappeared and lied about where he was. I tracked him, called and texted repeatedly and begged him to love me and to want a healthy relationship. My depression and sickness became worse, as well as his alcohol use.
Then this January he planned a trip to Las Vegas to visit his mom. I knew it would be the end. Vising his mom really means that his son stays with his mom while he spend all night out partying. I begged him not to go. I told him that I knew it would be the end. he went.
While there he at first assured me that he was not doing anything for me to worry about, but soon began to avoid talking to me and completely ignoring my phone calls. I was tracking what he was doing on his google maps which I had been doing since the last time he cheated on me. yes, he was aware of this. The last night of his trip after completely cutting me out, he turned of his location.
When he returned all hell broke loose for a few days. I was so hurt and angry. He apologized and insisted that he did not cheat on me or talk to any women. He wanted to recommit and start fresh. I decided to do this and things felt better for a couple of days, until, one day when he was asleep, I looked though his messages to his mom during his trip. A message from his mom asked where he was, that she was worried, and his response was he had met a woman.
My heart sank and my blood was on fire. “What the hell is this?” I yelled at him. At first he told me he had been talking to a woman on the bus and she gave him her number. I knew that this couldn’t be true. Why would that keep him out so late his mother would worry. why if it was just a casual encounter, would he even mention it to his mother. Then after hours of lies, he admitted he had picked up a lady at the bar, and cheated on me again.
F@$&. All of my dreams were shattered again. I had spent six years planning a future, a marriage, a life with this man who I was so in love with and he had hurt me again.